Thief of Time: A Novel of Discworld

By Terry Pratchett

Time itself is threatened— and it is as much as the background clergymen to reserve it in Terry Pratchett's bestselling Discworld® series

Everybody desires extra time. that is why, on Discworld, merely the specialists can deal with it—the venerable priests of historical past who shop it and pump it from the place it really is wasted, like underwater (how a lot time does a codfish really need?) to locations like towns, the place busy denizens lament by no means having adequate of it.

While every body talks approximately slowing down, one younger horologist is set to do the unthinkable. he'll cease. good, cease time, that's, through development the world's first really actual clock. this means that esteemed background Monk Lu-Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd need to wear a few velocity to prevent the timepiece sooner than it starts off. For if definitely the right Clock starts off ticking, time—as we all know it—will finish. after which the difficulty will really commence . . .

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Elliot and the Goblin War (Underworld Chronicles)

By Jennifer Nielsen

WARNING!

As of at the present time, there are just 7 CHILDREN who've ever learn this publication and lived to inform approximately it. 95 CHILDREN effectively learn the 1st bankruptcy, yet upon starting bankruptcy 2, they began BLABBERING in a few language recognized in basic terms as "flibberish." 38 CHILDREN made it midway via this wretched publication ahead of they all started SUCKING THEIR THUMBS via THEIR NOSES.

If you are VERY BRAVE, maybe you're keen to TAKE YOUR CHANCES. make certain you could have instructed your loved ones who will get your favourite toys if you happen to DO now not SURVIVE this e-book. learn it now, IF YOU DARE. yet do not say you have not been warned, for this can be the tale that unfolds the MYSTERIES OF THE UNDERWORLD.

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The Dog Next Door: And Other Stories of the Dogs We Love

Canine are really considered one of God's most interesting creatures, a fabulous present for us people. within the excellent followup to A Prince between canines, Callie Smith supply compiles a pleasant number of real tales that remember the canine in our lives. those tales will contact our hearts, renew our spirits, and convey us how God made those exceptional creatures for targeted purposes.Readers will love those uplifting glimpses into the lives of normal and awesome canine and the folk who love them. The tales are hot, eye-catching, and excellent for a superb curlupandread or an ideal reward for any puppy lover.

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The Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design

By Wendy Northcutt

Over 1.5 million copies offered during this New York Times bestselling humor series

The Darwin Awards sequence is the alpha chimp of funny human mishaps. regardless of being a world bestseller and encouraging the motion picture The Darwin Awards, those hilarious, cautionary chronicles have didn't cease one other new release of Darwin Award winners from guidance bikes with their ft, heating lava lamps on stoves, utilizing liquid cleaning soap as brake fluid, and drowning themselves within the kitchen sink.

Filled with greater than a hundred new stories of evolution in motion, plus technology essays and a parody examine paper aiding clever layout, The Darwin Awards 4 indicates that after it involves logic, traditional choice nonetheless has a protracted, good distance to go.

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Great Granny Webster (New York Review Books Classics)

By Caroline Blackwood

Nice Granny Webster is Caroline Blackwood's masterpiece. Heiress to the Guinness fortune, Blackwood was once celebrated as an exceptional good looks and awesome raconteur lengthy earlier than she made her identify as a strikingly unique author. This macabre, mordantly humorous, partially auto-biographical novel unearths the gothic craziness behind the curtain within the nice homes of the aristocracy, as witnessed throughout the unsparing eyes of an orphaned teenage lady. nice Granny Webster herself is a wonderful monster, the chilliest of matriarchs, presiding with steely self-regard over a panorama of ruined lives.

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The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)

From bestselling authors Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris - a nugget of knowledge within the extra special Ladybirds for Grown Ups sequence. This pleasant ebook is the most recent within the sequence of Ladybird books which were specifically deliberate to aid grown-ups with the area approximately them. the massive transparent script, the cautious collection of phrases, the widespread repetition and the considerate matching of textual content with photographs all allow grown-ups to imagine they've got taught themselves to manage. that includes unique Ladybird paintings along brilliantly humorous, fresh textual content. additionally to be had: the way it Works: The Husband the way it Works: The spouse the way it Works: the mummy The Ladybird booklet of the Mid-Life hindrance The Ladybird publication of the Hangover The Ladybird booklet of Mindfulness The Ladybird e-book of the Shed The Ladybird e-book of courting The Ladybird booklet of the Hipster

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Geek Love: A Novel

By Katherine Dunn

Geek Love is the tale of the Binewskis, a carny relatives whose mater- and paterfamilias set out–with the aid of amphetamine, arsenic, and radioisotopes–to breed their very own show of human oddities. There’s Arturo the Aquaboy, who has flippers for limbs and a megalomaniac ambition beneficial of Genghis Khan . . . Iphy and Elly, the lissome Siamese twins . . . albino hunchback Oly, and the outwardly common Chick, whose mysterious presents make him the family’s such a lot precious–and dangerous–asset.

As the Binewskis take their act around the backwaters of the united states, inspiring fanatical devotion and murderous revulsion; as its participants behavior their very own Machiavellian model of sibling rivalry, Geek Love throws its sulfurous mild on our notions of the freakish and the conventional, the attractive and the grotesque, the holy and the obscene. relatives values is just not a similar.

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Uncle John's Presents: The Book of the Dumb (Uncle John Presents)

A social gathering of dimwits, lunkheads, undesirable rules and simply undeniable wrongheaded foolishness. In each box of human recreation, there are humans, issues, and ideas that rank the most effective mankind has ever produced. This booklet isn't really approximately any of that stuff. If there is something human background teaches us, repeatedly and another time, it really is this: by no means underestimate the ability of human stupidity. again and again, the human skill to do fairly dumb issues pops up in mind-blowing and infrequently strangely artistic methods, and generally catches those that do the dumb issues suddenly. From crashed Mars landers to vegetable-flavored Jell-O to land wars in the course of bitterly chilly Russian winters, The publication of the Dumb chronicles many of the largest moments in human folly in each box of human activity. writer John Scalzi (a widespread contributor to the Uncle John's rest room Reader sequence) takes the reader throughout the complete of recorded background, trying to find the easiest examples of the worst principles, regrettable utterances, and crackpot theories within the fields of arts, technology, politics, activities, leisure, and more.

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Relics of War: A Legend of Ethshar

Younger Ishta chanced on it within the woodland, buried underneath useless leaves: a rounded, flattened stone as black as onyx. One aspect held a golden oval that glowed with a unnatural mild. in fact, it needed to be magic.

yet what did farmers be aware of of magic? it may be harmful, or it can be a few innocuous toy. they'd to determine.

because Ishta was once too younger to deliver her discovery to the Baron of Varag’s stronghold, her older brother, Garander, went in its place. as soon as there, Azlia, a stunning wizard, well-known the stone instantly as Northern sorcery. She needed to name Sammel, the neighborhood sorcerer, to determine its nature ... a relic of the final nice struggle.

whilst the Baron takes the stone for himself, that are supposed to have ended issues. however it used to be just the start for Garander. simply because that magical stone wasn’t the one relic left within the woods...

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The Adventures of Ook and Gluk, Kung-Fu Cavemen From the Future (Captain Underpants)

By Dav Pilkey

Tra-la-laaa! The wait is over! Dav Pilkey--ahem--we suggest, George and Harold, the authors of tremendous DIAPER child, are again with their moment epic novel! Now with super-cool foil covers! glossy! Fun!

Meet Ook and Gluk, the celebs of this sensationally foolish photograph novel from the creators of Captain Underpants! it is 500,001 BC, and Ook and Gluk's place of origin of Caveland, Ohio, is below assault by way of an evil company from the longer term. whilst Ook, Gluk, and their little dinosaur good friend Lily are pulled via a time portal to 2222, they find a destiny international that is much more devastated than their very own. fortunately, they discover a good friend in grasp Wong, a martial arts teacher who trains them within the methods of kung fu. Now all they must do is go back and forth again in time 502,223 years and retailer the day!

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